Why My Self Doubt Makes Me Want to Scream!

I have a lot of things to work in my life, but the major thing would be my self-doubt. 

I honestly, can barely write this post because my mind is telling me:

“No one will read it.”

“No one is going to care.” 

“Why even bother?” 

These negative thoughts, try to get the best of me and I try my hardest to ignore them but it’s hard! I get so lost in them, that my chest hurts, I have trouble breathing, and I almost want to cry. Like right now, I want to erase everything I’m typing and make up some happy-go-lucky post, that doesn’t really show what is going on in my head.

My Mind is Screaming at Me

It literally feels like my mind is screaming at me to not continue with this post today! It keeps repeating the same thing over and over. “Why bother?” “No one is going to read it.” “They aren’t going to care.” This is the ugliness of anxiety! It eats at you, tears you down, and almost makes it impossible to focus on the positive.

why-my-self-doubt-makes-me-want-to-scream-fear

My hands are shaking, my breathing is getting heavier, and my mind is clouded with darkness! I need to stop, I need to give up! NO ONE WILL CARE!

Except I will care! I cannot give up! This disorder will not consume me! It will not define who I am. I have to keep going and I will fight my demons before it gets to be too late!

Just breathe, Jessie! Take a look around, can you see what’s grounded?

My desk
The shelves
My chair

Breathe! In 4 seconds, hold 7 seconds, out 8 seconds! In 4 seconds, hold 7 seconds, out 8 seconds!

Not today anxiety! Not today! I’m gonna kick your butt and show you who is boss! You cannot control me, I control you!

why-my-self-doubt-makes-me-want-to-scream-bear

Other Post About Anxiety:

Good Thoughts to Get Rid of Bad Thoughts

10 Tips to Fight Anxiety

My Fight

 

You’ll get a happy post tomorrow! How do you deal with self-doubt? 

 

 

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14 Comments

  1. JoAnns Food Bites

    March 31, 2017 at 1:08 pm

    With each day reminding me, I do not make enough money to sustain myself – I have self doubt. Thank goodness, I have my husband, who is supporting both of us while I try to pursue my freelance writing career. I also suffer from anxiety, (I take Lexapro). I am not looking to get rich…just to supplement our household income. Been blogging PT since 2012, but full time for 16 months…I still have not figured this thing out. http://www.joannsfoodbites.com

    1. NerdyBook Life

      March 31, 2017 at 1:15 pm

      It takes one brick at a time to build your dream! Just breathe and you got this!! I am slowly thinking about monetizing my blog but too scared to right now, so I’m taking my time! Don’t get discouraged especially with a husband who supports you! And I know you love to cook and cupcakes always make me feel better:)

    2. Sarah Cole Balanced Mom Life

      March 31, 2017 at 1:18 pm

      This being generating an income with your blog?

  2. Michele O'Callaghan

    March 31, 2017 at 1:13 pm

    I can relate. You can do hard things! Good job for posting.

    1. NerdyBookLife

      March 31, 2017 at 1:16 pm

      Thanks! I was freaking out the whole time!

  3. Sarah Cole Balanced Mom Life

    March 31, 2017 at 1:19 pm

    There is power in the doing! I love that you ground yourself and push through!

    1. NerdyBookLife

      March 31, 2017 at 1:24 pm

      Thanks! It was tough!

  4. Roxie Jackson

    March 31, 2017 at 9:48 pm

    Keep up your positive outlook! There are times self doubt get all of us but like you say I control me, not my anxiety (though it tries hard to). Everyone has an inner demon whispering negativity and we can not let that voice become reality. Keep your chin up sweetie!

  5. Jen Weindorf

    April 11, 2017 at 1:09 pm

    Wow this really speaks to me. Thank you for sharing, and know that you are not alone! We will overcome that voice in our heads! And know that you are amazing, and someone is reading this 😉

    1. NerdyBook Life

      April 11, 2017 at 2:29 pm

      Thanks love! And you’re right! It takes baby steps but that voice does not control us!

  6. sofia

    April 17, 2017 at 3:27 pm

    Be brave my lovely. We can be our worst enemy but we can also be our best friend too. Write for you, heal for you and I am certain that someone will read this and will not feel alone. Be brave <3

    1. NerdyBookLife

      April 17, 2017 at 3:54 pm

      Thanks! I fight my own struggle everyday!

  7. Arien Smith

    April 19, 2017 at 10:01 am

    Such an empowering blog! You really face this inner voice and put it in it’s place. I actually just made a blog about overcoming our inner critic, so it’s super cool to see such similar intentions with this! Be brave and keep going, you can do this. 🙂

    1. NerdyBookLife

      April 19, 2017 at 10:11 am

      I fight every day! I also get stronger every day! I have a post coming up on Thursday about what to do at the end of your rope!

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